Pinned toot

Hi, I'm Aster (ey/em or they/them) and my main/general purpose English-speaking account is This is my account for queer stuff, which I'm moving from @stardust. My actual main is @Aster.

This means I'll likely be posting LGBTQIAPN+ flag and label facts I find neat, as well as reading/listening/watching recommendations.

If you’re concerned about the “gender critical” movement and how its moving worldwide, you should learn about Bilek, who Twitter user @/christapeterso writes a detailed Twitter thread on.

Huge warnings for antisemitism, transphobia and threats of violence. But please read, share wide, and defend LGBT people:

external links containing obsolete/outdated terminology regarding gender and oppression, but they are mostly positive 

I was browsing Oocities and came across a few pages I had never seen before:

The Spivak Manifesto

Gender Anarchoterrorism 101

What Am I? (Contains a lot of reclaimed slurs)

Gender Diversity - Common Terms (this is interesting in some ways, but oh wow it's aged pretty badly, especially with regards to nonbinary and aspec erasure)

Where the Bois Are (there's a t word in all caps at the end)

external link about ace invalidation and the diversity and problems of ace spaces 

Normativity, Community, and Creating Ourselves

personal thoughts about English grammar orientation word order 

I've seen some people say they are, for instance, "aromantic asexual instead of asexual aromantic" because "their aromanticism comes first" and I think this is kind of weird? Like, not the prioritization part or the logic, that's understandable, but the word order itself, because of how English works.

In my personal view, if I say I'm a virflexible demisexual person, I'm saying I'm demisexual, but in a way that has virflexible as an extra characteristic. Demisexual is the main thing; virflexible is further information that isn't as important.

Now if I say I'm a demisexual virflexible person, being virflexible is the main thing here, while demisexual is an extra characteristic that, while relevant enough to be mentioned, it's not the main point. It's like I'm saying "I'm this specific kind of virflexible person", not "I'm this specific kind of demisexual person" like in the other sentence.

Like, if I say I have a blue shirt, maybe the blue part is important in context, but the main thing about the object itself is that it's a shirt, not that it's blue.

Even orientation order in general is usually informed by prioritization of the sexual orientation, then the romantic orientation, and then others, in the vast majority of discussions: so when someone says they are an aplaroace, or a bialterous demiromantic aceflux lesbian, I don't see that as prioritization of aplatonic and bialterous identities, respectively.

So basically, that's why it's weird for me to see people saying the part they prioritize is the first orientation they list instead of the last. Not saying anyone has to change, I'm just pointing that out. @.@

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Day 7
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Where to learn more

Its the end of aro week. Thank you to everyone that shared and commented. It warms my heart to see people talk about aromanticism.
I wanna end the week by telling you where to go next to learn more. There's so much I didn't talk about this week!

General Aromantic Stuff

Aromantic Politics

Types of attraction

Demiromantic booklet

An aromantic blogging carnival

Journal on aspec topics

Relationship anarchy

Feel free to add if you've got something to share! I always want to see more aro things

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

doesnt open til june 2021, & you dont have to be in the US to apply but you must get the procedure done in the US

We accept applications for any gender-affirming procedure. If this surgery is necessary to your transition, you are welcome to apply.

Show thread

In my understanding, aplatonic and loveless are ways for aros to push back against that.

The definition of aplatonic is a little bit messy. But it tends to include not experience platonic attraction and struggling to form friendships. Aplatonic people might not experience squishes (platonic crushes) or a pull/desire to build a friendship with any one person. For some aplatonic people this is connected to experiences of trauma and neurodivergence. There is some discussion about whether aplatonic is a term reserved for aspecs or if its open to anyone.

Loveless is even less defined. Loveless aros often feel that 'love' fails to describe any of their experiences. For many loveless aros its an explicit and purposeful rejection of the idea that they have to find value, meaning, comfort and humanity in love.


#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

Show thread

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Day 5
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Aplatonic and Loveless Aromantics

Before diving into what these words mean, I think it's important to explain the context in which they exist.
It's fairly common to see celebrations of platonic and non-romantic attraction/love/relationships in aro spaces. This sometimes comes in the form of trying to validate and humanize aros by saying 'aros can still feel love and have close relationships and partners! Those just aren't romantic!'
There is this push to legitimize aros by pushing the relationship closest to amatonormativity (qprs).
While talking about and celebrating platonic love and relationships is important to some aros, it is not the basis of our humanity.
Aros who don't feel love of any variety, don't experience platonic attraction, struggle to form friendships or want to center other aspects of their life can be alienated and dehumanized.


#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

Stardew Valley mod, something for the aromantics/asexuals 

Platonic Partners and Friendships by Amaranthacyan

them link about figuring out being nonbinary 

How Do I Know If I’m Nonbinary?

it's awful that the Nonbinary Wiki gender list is being upheld as super diverse and complete, but the rest of the article seems good to me!

Unless someone is already connected to the asexual community the odds of them learning about aromanticism are slim. (Which is what this week is all about!) This helps feed the idea that all aromantics are also asexual. This idea is often reinforced in aspec (ace or aro spectrum) spaces where its often assumed that everyone is asexual. This works to erase and alienate alloaros from their own communities.

I highly reccomend you check out K. A. Cook's site Ze has a whole bunch of resources on allosexual aromanticism including links to other alloaro bloggers


#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

Show thread

Aromantic Awareness Week: Day 4
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Allosexual Aromantics

Allosexual aromantics (alloaros) are often forgotten members of the aromantic community so I wanted to highlight them this week.

In most contexts, allosexual is used to refer to people completely off the asexual spectrum. However, alloaro is a community and identity label that can be used by any aro that experiences some amount or type of sexual attraction, even if they are on the asexual spectrum. (Although not all asexual spectrum aros describe themselves as alloaro)
Alloaros can also be anywhere on the aromantic spectrum.

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021


if you used to be a transmed, please don't reveal all the shitty things you used to do & think & say- i don't think anyone wants to hear that. just *actually* do better now, take a step back- listen, learn, grow.

tumblr link about someone's cassgender experiences 

But the exclusion of ace and aro people from a community where we are all oppressed by this allocishet world is not okay.

If you want "queer" to mean people with same-gender attraction, that's a different conversation. If you want another word for it, that's another convo, too. If you want a different word to mean all of us who aren't allocishet, that's fine.

I'm seeing "aces/aros are not queer" discourse on my TL again.

First, please stop. Second, let's have a lesson about deviance and how people organize themselves/ourselves because of the allocishet norm.

If you aren't certain that the label "nonbinary" is really fitting for you, that's ok. You can drop the term whenever you need to.

One important purpose of the nonbinary community is to help you (and others) learn more about yourself and live a better life as a result.

You will not hurt us at all if this process for you leads to leaving this community eventually.

#nonbinary #nonbinarypositivity #nonbinaypride #nonbinarycommunity ..

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Day 3
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:

The aromantic relationship with relationships can be extremely complicated, varied and nuanced.

In short, aros can be in any type of relationship imaginable. Yes, aros can be in romantic relationships. Relationships don't have to be built on attraction. Or perhaps the aro is grey romantic and does experience some romantic attraction that led to a relationship. Or any other reason.
In fact, there's a word for people that don't experience romantic attraction but do want a romantic relationship. Cupioromantic!

There are a few styles and types of relationships that are close to the aromantic community, although not at all exclusive to us.

Queerplatonic relationships
Relationship anarchy

(Descriptions of these in the thread)

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

Show older
LGBTQIA+ Mastodon Instance

A Mastodon Instance for the LGBTQIA+ Community