Pinned toot

Hi, I'm Aster (ey/em or they/them) and my main/general purpose English-speaking account is @comet@the.monsterpit.net. This is my account for queer stuff, which I'm moving from @stardust. My actual main is @Aster.

This means I'll likely be posting LGBTQIAPN+ flag and label facts I find neat, as well as reading/listening/watching recommendations.

Stardew Valley mod, something for the aromantics/asexuals 

Platonic Partners and Friendships by Amaranthacyan

nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mo

them link about figuring out being nonbinary 

How Do I Know If I’m Nonbinary?
them.us/story/how-do-i-know-if

it's awful that the Nonbinary Wiki gender list is being upheld as super diverse and complete, but the rest of the article seems good to me!

Unless someone is already connected to the asexual community the odds of them learning about aromanticism are slim. (Which is what this week is all about!) This helps feed the idea that all aromantics are also asexual. This idea is often reinforced in aspec (ace or aro spectrum) spaces where its often assumed that everyone is asexual. This works to erase and alienate alloaros from their own communities.

I highly reccomend you check out K. A. Cook's site aroworlds.com/allo-aro/. Ze has a whole bunch of resources on allosexual aromanticism including links to other alloaro bloggers

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#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

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Aromantic Awareness Week: Day 4
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Allosexual Aromantics

Allosexual aromantics (alloaros) are often forgotten members of the aromantic community so I wanted to highlight them this week.

In most contexts, allosexual is used to refer to people completely off the asexual spectrum. However, alloaro is a community and identity label that can be used by any aro that experiences some amount or type of sexual attraction, even if they are on the asexual spectrum. (Although not all asexual spectrum aros describe themselves as alloaro)
Alloaros can also be anywhere on the aromantic spectrum.

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#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

transmedicalism 

if you used to be a transmed, please don't reveal all the shitty things you used to do & think & say- i don't think anyone wants to hear that. just *actually* do better now, take a step back- listen, learn, grow.

tumblr link about someone's cassgender experiences 

But the exclusion of ace and aro people from a community where we are all oppressed by this allocishet world is not okay.

If you want "queer" to mean people with same-gender attraction, that's a different conversation. If you want another word for it, that's another convo, too. If you want a different word to mean all of us who aren't allocishet, that's fine.

I'm seeing "aces/aros are not queer" discourse on my TL again.

First, please stop. Second, let's have a lesson about deviance and how people organize themselves/ourselves because of the allocishet norm.

If you aren't certain that the label "nonbinary" is really fitting for you, that's ok. You can drop the term whenever you need to.

One important purpose of the nonbinary community is to help you (and others) learn more about yourself and live a better life as a result.

You will not hurt us at all if this process for you leads to leaving this community eventually.

#nonbinary #nonbinarypositivity #nonbinaypride #nonbinarycommunity ..

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Day 3
:heart_aro: :heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Relationships

The aromantic relationship with relationships can be extremely complicated, varied and nuanced.

In short, aros can be in any type of relationship imaginable. Yes, aros can be in romantic relationships. Relationships don't have to be built on attraction. Or perhaps the aro is grey romantic and does experience some romantic attraction that led to a relationship. Or any other reason.
In fact, there's a word for people that don't experience romantic attraction but do want a romantic relationship. Cupioromantic!

There are a few styles and types of relationships that are close to the aromantic community, although not at all exclusive to us.

Queerplatonic relationships
Nonamory
Relationship anarchy

(Descriptions of these in the thread)

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

Queerplatonic relationships (qpr)
Qpr are relationships that queer the idea of platonic. Every qpr will look different and feel different to the people in it. But, the thing they share is being a platonic relationship that breaks the limits on commitment, closeness, importance, intimacy... imposed on platonic relationships. This look like making financial decisions together, raising kids together, having this be the relationship you prioritize, moving to be together and countless other things
Some aros call their queerplatonic partner (qpp) their zucchini! (Which is adorable although I'm not sure how it started)

Nonamory
Nonamory is adjacent to monogamy and polyamory. While monogamy means 1 partner and polyamory means more than 1, nonamory is having 0 partners.
Some people see nonamory as an innate part of who they are while others see it as a conscious choice of lifestyle (or any combination there of)

Relationship anarchy described in thread

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

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Relationship anarchy (ra)
RA is the application of anarchist principles (rejecting and opposing heiarchy) to relationships. Relationship anarchists work to dismantle hierarchies between relationships and relationship types.
Not all or even most aros are ra and vice versa. But, there's a decent amount of overlap in our communities, thinking and goals.

There is of course a bazillion other relationship types, styles and theories applicable to aros!

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

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Need financial help, please boost 

Hey there,

I realize I’ve been asking very often recently, but I’m having continued financial issues. I’ve been able to squeeze through last month and was able to pay rent this month and several payments I had hanging, but once again that leaves me on the rope for the rest of this month and to buy food

I would greatly appreciate if you could drop me some money if you are able to! Any amount helps.

paypal.me/SiphonayAV
ko-fi.com/Siphonay

Boosts also help immensely, and they’re also very appreciated!

Thank you very much, have a nice day

help request, income and housing situations. :boost_ok:​ 

hiya! so we've had things unpinned and this has been less focal for a bit, mostly because our entire life has been a Thing lately and the stress of internalized ableism and classism was not a good addition at the time.

if you'd like to support us, links to our patreon, paypal, cashapp, and a wishlist are on weld.eerie.garden/support

currently we're stuck living with our abusive parents again, who we previously planned to cut contact with, and we will be stuck with them for... an unknown amount of time.

the house is very inaccessible, being a three story place while we use a cane and wheelchair for chronic leg pain, and we have no bedroom so we're sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. we don't really currently have a great way out of this situation.

the most direct thing is that if we have enough income to actually support ourselves, there's the potential to move out, but otherwise it's all kinda
-big shrug- rn. but even in the short term, maintaining financial independence for things like keeping up our own phone plan, getting meds, buying groceries for ourselves when our parents are dismissive of our needs, and ordering food when we can't cook, are really useful.

please, though, do make sure your own oxygen mask (that is to say, ability to survive) is affixed before helping us out at all. thanks, y'all.

#TransCrowdFund #DisabilityCrowdFund

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Day 2
:heart_aro: :heart_aro:
Amatonormativity

Imo, if you want to understand aromanticism you need to understand amatonormativity.

Amatonormativity is a fairly new word, coined in 2012 by Elizabeth Brake in her book Minimizing Marriage
Amatonormativity is the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types.

Basically amatonormativity is the idea that monogamous, committed, prioritized romantic relationships are good for everyone and something everyone wants.

Amatonormativity harms aros, polyamorous people, people who prioritize non-romantic relationships, single people and more. Imo, it even harms alloromantic (non-aromantic) monogamous people by limiting the ways they get to explore and build relationships.

#aro #aromantic #asaw #asaw2021

nonbinary folks!
do you like the term "enby" as a noun for referring to you?

It's amazing how easy it is to retrain yourself from saying "guys" to "folks" in situations where gender isn't relevant.

Anyone who says that they use "guys" to mean everyone should just try it. I promise it won't hurt.

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